M.U. – Mutual Understanding or Mutual Undervaluing

Mutual Understanding, “Just Talking,” Prayer Partners, Waiting, Flirtationship.

No matter how you call them they’re all the same. They are all mediocre, troublesome, hurtful, shallow, and petty versions of realationships.

Nope. I didn’t spell relationship wrong. Relationships are supposed to be REAL.

I don’t know the genius jerk who invented this term, but if I did, I will make sure that no one else knows him after I’m through. How man’s perspective about love and relationships changed across time is a solid proof that we aren’t better than we were before. It can even be an evidence for the absurdity of evolution. Why should you enter into this relationship when you very well know that you’re just setting yourself up for failure?

I dunno.

BUT… if you’re one of those people who are in this set-up, here’s my all out rant about it. Fasten your seatbelts, kids. Here we go.

1.  MUs are stupid.

You may say that stupid is a strong word for this, but that’s how I see it. Merriam-Webster defines stupid as “given to unintelligent decisions or acts : acting in an unintelligent or careless manner.” That is exactly what MUs are about. I challenge you, my dear readers, to give me reasons to defend the position that these commitment-free relationships are intelligent. Feel free to post your comments below and I’ll gladly try to dissuade you.

2. MUs are a sure-fire way to get hurt.

When I was younger, I thought that only girls get hurt in these situations. However, as I grew older, I realized that even guys invest a lot in relationships. I’ve had guy friends who cried about how their “modern Filipina MU partners” broke their hearts. Everybody carries a little (or a lot) more baggage after these relationships. The heartbroken carries pain. The heartbreaker is haunted by guilt. And since their relationship wasn’t even official to start with, they absolutely have NO right to cry and whine about it. Imagine having a crushed heart with no one to turn to who’ll tell you how much of a bad person that guy was and how you don’t deserve what happened! Quoting an old friend, “It’s like dying inside.”

3. MUs are against the Biblical standard for relationships.

Quick fact for our over-excited kids who just want a “boyfriend-who’s-not-really-a-boyfriend.” Do you know that in the olden days, people married so they can have a relationship with someone? Yep. It’s not the other way around. Then came the concept of people entering in a relationship so that they can eventually get married. That probably was the “in thing” for our parents before. But nowadays, people just enter relationships for no apparent long-term reason.

Now, you may tell me that the “marry before you date” thing is a thing of the past and that it’s irrelevant for the present day. So, here’s my jab back to that. That’s how they did it and humanity thrived. The 50% divorce rate, the “need” for the debate on abortion, the teen pregnancies, the unwed moms and unwanted kids are all things of this current age. Do you think Isaac had that problem with Rebekah? Nope.

And to state it in simpler terms, let me borrow words from my girl, Beyonce…

If you like it then you should’ve put a ring on it.

Forget the other parts of the song though.

And now, jumping to my conclusion, this is what I have to say about MUs. MU should not be called Mutual Understanding. Believe me. Most of these MU partners don’t even understand what MU means. They just want someone to stick with them. MU is MUTUAL UNDERVALUING.

Both parties undervalue each other. The boy doesn’t think that the girl is worthy to promise commitment and fidelity to and the girl agrees. The girl thinks that the boy isn’t mature enough to handle a “real” relationship and the boy loves that the girl “gets” him. You are not giving yourselves the kind of honest, sincere, and secure relationship that you both deserve.

Girls, you are so much better than that! This is a hard thing to accept, but I’m going to say it anyway. If he’s not willing to commit, he’s deserving to omit. You don’t need him in your life. And you know what, when he meets someone who deserves his sole attention, he is going to commit. Stop thinking that he’ll eventually change his mind because if he will, he probably has already.

Boys, if a girl wants this, start thinking. Is she out to exact revenge on a previous flame? Is she like Summer in (500) days of Summer? Is she the type of woman that you want to marry?! REALLY?! Butterflies look pretty, flit from flower to flower and seem to not have a care in the world. They also die in around a day or two. Find a swan. They may look simple, but they’re graceful and loyal. Plus, they eat bugs.

So, on MUs and those non-committal relationships (no matter how beautifully you word them)…

Don’t even think about it.

You deserve so much more.

And that’s my two cents on that.

Published by lyqamaravilla

I'm a resource speaker, film fan, teacher, and writer from the Philippines. My friends call me either Lyqa, Angel, or Anne. Since I don't really talk much about my personal stuff in the real world, I use the net to express myself. To state it simply, what I can't say, I blog.

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