One of my schoolmates asked me this question a few years ago. At that time, I didn’t know what to answer. It took a few minutes and a quick recall of my girl friends’ love stories for me to give credit to his observation. It took me 5 years to compose my answer. Now, I’m not saying that these are absolutes. There are a lot of gray ares to sort when it comes to people. However, this is just my personal opinion in my 24 years worth of good and bad boy interaction. Here it goes.
1. Bad boys know what they want. Good boys don’t.
Have you ever heard a bad boy go all “I may like her or not… or maybe… I dunno” before he hits on a girl? Nope. They make a decision in an instant. No what ifs or anything. If they like a girl, they go get her.
I’ve met a lot of good boys who like a lot of good girls. Whether we can still consider them a good boy after that is another story, but let’s consider them good for now. The problem is, they couldn’t make up their mind. They “fall” for a girl then fall even harder for the next one that comes along.
If you want a piece of advice, this is it. Making a decision is really easy to do. Go to God. Ask Him who she is, then that’s it. If God told you that it was her, don’t stray and look for someone else. She may not be perfect, but she’s the right one.
2. Bad boys don’t stop until they get the girl. Good boys “make sure” before they do anything.
Persistence pays especially when it comes to girls. We love to be pursued and wooed and made to feel like someone needs us desperately. Bad boys have a knack for doing that. Even if the story starts out with the girl disliking a bad boy, he’ll grow on her after being around all of the time because he refuses to leave.
Now, I’m not saying that good boys should go all out and be with the girl 24/7 even if she refuses to have him around. Don’t. It still is very rude and selfish and not all good girls fall for bad boys because of that. What I’m saying is that when you’ve finally heard from God that this is the girl you should pursue, don’t dance the cha-cha-cha with her. Commit to it. Work hard. Be there for her. Make an effort. Don’t stop just when she tells you to leave because it’s that time of the month. Walk off, but don’t walk away. If you do, the next bad guy who won’t may look appealing enough to her.
3. Bad boys don’t need their moms as much as good boys do.
The girl versus mom-in-law equation has been there since the beginning of time. I love moms. Moms are great and awesome and we are all forever indebted to them. But, love is different from an unhealthy dependence.
Most of the good boys I know are totally incapable of surviving without their moms. Dude! If you want a girlfriend, be a man! If you’re going to have to go to your mom for anything and everything, you’re not ready for another girl in your life. You have to make room for her in your life first. If you still need your mom to buy you clothes, pick you up, or clean your room, your are just an oversized baby. We girls love babies, but just the cute-sized, regular ones.
4. Bad boys are as numerous as cockroaches while good boys are a dying race.
“Do good boys even exist?” is a question that plagues the minds of girls in this generation.
When I was in college, going to school required me to spend almost 4 hours on a bus and that cemented my belief that finding a needle in a haystack is easier than looking for a good boy in the city. In my 4 years of schooling, there has only been a handful of times when I saw a guy offer his seat to a lady or elderly person. I even had this experience of fighting a guy to who pushed a pregnant lady with a small child just so he can take the seat. There was even one instance when a good Christian boy whom I knew pretended to sleep just so he wouldn’t have to feel guilty about all us girls standing in the aisle. Is this how bad things have become?
Come on, good boys! Man up! Show yourselves. Make yourselves seen and noticed by actively doing what’s good.
5. She’s simply not the one.
NEVER disregard this possibility. What if that girl was actually meant for that “bad boy?” God has a special way of writing each person’s love story. She simply may not be the one for you.
Instead of moping around and feeling bad about not getting her, do something more worthwhile. Keep opening doors, giving up your seat, carrying girls’ bags. You don’t have to be bad boy to get a good girl. You just have to be the right one.
After all, you’ll never know when the right girl is watching.
And that’s my two cents on that.