On Choices

I was born into the generation of finger-pointers. Yes. That is the tragic flaw of Baby-Boomer babies. Rarely do I find someone my age taking credit for the bad things that happened in their life. After all, it’s easy to duck and blame someone else, than to say three hard and bitter words, “It’s my fault.”

When I was in high school, I would always hear my peers sharing about the woes of their existence. Those conversations usually end with the conclusion that it’s the parents who have to be blamed. If a student cuts class, it’s an act of rebellion because he/she wasn’t given enough attention. If someone sneaks alcohol into a school event, it’s because he/she was getting too much attention from her hawk-eyed parents. When I got into UP, everyone blamed the government. The government ALWAYS had to be toppled over. All fingers point at the current president. I thought that going into a different college would be different, but I was wrong. They still blamed someone else for everything that was wrong in the school.

Guys, it’s time to wake up!

When we make mess up, it isn’t someone else’s fault. We have nobody else to blame but ourselves. When we sin, we shouldn’t blame someone else or the devil. People can give us all the reasons to do something wrong. The devil may know the exact thing that will push us to the edge. He may wave our most desired things in our faces, but it will always be our mind that will tell our body to grab that scrumptious piece of pleasure.

It’s our body, every move we make (except for breathing, heartbeat, and perspiration) requires permission from our brain. You can’t say any of these top 3 excuses to blame someone else for your own move.

  1. “They made me do it.” Unless someone’s literally pointing a gun or any weapon at your head (or any area of your body that’s near an internal organ), you cannot use this excuse. If your friends try to put pressure on you to do something stupid by standing in a circle around you while coaxing you with either encouragements our threats and you give in, then you’re still the one to blame. Why should you care?! The most that those hormonal prepubescents can do is to alienate you from their crowd. And by the type of things they “encourage” you to do, believe me when I say that you are better off without them.
  2. “Everybody does that.” Now, this is a variation of the first one. This is something we say when we get caught doing something wrong. We say it as if a lot of people do something wrong, it suddenly makes it right or at the very least, since everyone’s doing it and getting away with it, I shouldn’t be held responsible for anything. Come on, kids. Don’t be afraid to be unique, especially if it’s in doing something good and right that other kids refuse to do. You have to add to this statement and say, “Everybody does it, but I’m my own person and I won’t.”
  3. “It’s because                      .” Yep. It goes from dodging the blows to avoiding the repercussions to straightaway blaming someone else. Kids fill that blank with a lot of reasons and a lot of people. “I’m rude and disobedient. It’s because of my negative upbringing.” “I’m greedy for attention to the point that I am promiscuous. It’s because nobody never showed me love.” “I cut classes and purposefully destroy my life. It’s because my parents refuse to give me what I want.” “I go around killing people. It’s because they asked for it.” The last one seems too harsh and quite impossible to say, but believe me when I say that people who don’t start taking credit for their little mistakes will ultimately blame others for the really big ones too.

We are not robots that were programmed to do whatever others tell us. We aren’t animals that jump at others out of instinct when provoked. Being a Psychology graduate, I know about how nature and nurture affects people. I also know that because of the situation we are born and raised in, some of us may be more screwed than others, but that doesn’t give you permission to do the wrong stuff and get away with it.

You are supposed to fight and triumph over your tendencies. Whatever situation you’re in right now, that’s what you have to decide to fight against. It’s not an easy escape. You make your own decisions all the time. Going with the flow is a decision NOT to make a decision, which is in itself a decision, too. Blaming someone is a decision you make after you yourself made the initial choice to do wrong.

Come on, guys! Admit that you have the biggest vote in every decision that you make. If you can’t take the blame for bad decisions, then don’t take the credit for good decisions too. If you really want to succeed:



And that’s my two cents on that.

Published by lyqamaravilla

I'm a resource speaker, film fan, teacher, and writer from the Philippines. My friends call me either Lyqa, Angel, or Anne. Since I don't really talk much about my personal stuff in the real world, I use the net to express myself. To state it simply, what I can't say, I blog.

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