On Girls: The Reserve, The Preserved, or the Conserved

I posted an article about boys which classified them into Mr. Right, Mr. Right Now or Mr. Right-For-You a few months ago. You can read it here.

Now, it’s time for us, girls. You can be either one of these three. Be very careful to pick which one you prefer to be. This is the hard truth. If you’re ready, read on.

1. “The Reserve”

Of the species of girls, I feel the worse for the Reserves. We have a lot of names for girls like this. They’re also known as “The Mean-Time Girl,” “The Back Pocket Girl”, or “The-Best-Gal-Friend-Whom-I-Know-Loves-Me-So-Much-So-She-Won’t-Ever-Leave.”

Reserves are girls who can be secretly in love with their guy friends. Sometimes, it’s too much of a secret that even they themselves don’t know. Whether the guy knows or not, that’s another story. However, regardless of who knows or cares to know, reserves always lose in the end.

Here’s a quick checklist to find out if you’re a reserve:

• I have a guy “bestfriend.”
• He has/had girlfriend/s.
• He calls me when he needs someone to talk to.
• I’m always there.
• I catch him flirting with me sometimes, but I shake it off.
• We have a pact that we’ll get married when we’re both single by the time we turn 40.
• His girlfriend/s hate me and “I don’t know why.”
• I finish his sentences. He finishes my food.
• I do things for him that I don’t do for any other guy friend I have.
• I know that I like him/I just realized that I like him because of this stupid checklist.

If you answered 6 or more of those with a yes, then I’m sorry, girl. You are a reserve.

Now, the next question is whether you like it that way. Don’t tell me that you don’t have a choice. You very well do. If you’re not convinced, read this. A reserve’s life is hard and painful. You have to like it if you decide to stay. I do have a few warnings for you.

1. As a reserve, there’s a good chance that you’ll never come into play. Yep. Stuff get forgotten when they’re in the back pocket. If you’re that into risks, go ahead.
2. As a reserve, you have no right to be mad, sad, hurt, or happy. Since you have fully accepted your fate, you also have to accept this consequence. You can’t hate every girl that your guy friend introduces to you. You can’t go all emo when you see him with someone. You also CANNOT be happy when he gives you a minute morsel of attention. You are not entitled to anything. If you’re that much of a martyr, go ahead.
3. As a reserve, you are seriously limiting the possibility of getting Mr. Right-For-You. Since you’re too engrossed with that cute guy who’s on-and-off-again interested in you, you will never notice the guy who is equally drawn to you. You will either turn him off, turn him away, or just plain hurt him. If you’re that much of a sadist, go ahead.

2. “The Preserved”

Not all girls are meant to have romantic ties, get married, and raise a family. That’s just how it is.

There is nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, wrong with girls who don’t have a boyfriend. I’m sorry to burst your bubble, boys, but not all girls make it their life’s mission to go after guys. We are just fine without  a testosterone filled person to lean to. We have our own testosterone. To think that girls like this aren’t beautiful enough, or did something wrong to not deserve a partner is absurd.

I have two awesome aunts who didn’t get married. One of them never had a boyfriend, the other had… well… a number of romantic relationships. They stayed single by circumstance and by choice, but that doesn’t make them incomplete. They are still, by far, two of the best people I know.

You may be preserved for good or preserved for the meantime. Either way, you are perfect as you are. However, there are times when loneliness and doubt will creep under the covers and stay there. Here’s some advice for all Preserved girls out there:

1. If you are Preserved, don’t feel unpretty or insecure. You are beautiful and interesting as you are. It’s not going to be an easy road for you, people will ask stupid questions like, “Has anyone EVER courted you?” or “Are you gay?!” and judge you even before you respond. But, hey! People in relationships get judged too. Just shake it off. Their opinions don’t matter.
2. If you are Preserved, don’t feel like love is out of the question for you. There are  many, many, kinds of love. Romantic love is just one of them. Brotherly love, or a love between best friends, can be nobler than the hormone-driven attraction that happens between lovers. Look around, there are people who love you for who you are. Focus on them. Take time to feel how much they love you. You’ll be surprised. You’ll have all the love you need and more.
3. If you are Preserved, enjoy the freedom and make the most out of it. Now that I have a boyfriend, I realize how much time working on a relationship takes up. Single ladies don’t have a problem with that. You have more time in your hands to do worthwhile things. It’s no wonder that some of the most successful ladies are single. Don’t waste your time going after boys who don’t deserve it. Be someone. Be known for who you are, not for the possible last name that you can attach to your current one.

3. “The Conserved”

Merriam-Webster defines this word as:

1

: to keep in a safe or sound state ; especially: to avoid wasteful or destructive use of

2

: to preserve with sugar

3

: to maintain (a quantity) constant during a process of chemical, physical, or evolutionary change